My Story

The journeys and adventures of a 21st century woman.

I am an almost 30 year old woman, passionate and opinionated.

I originally thought of starting a blog when I found out I was pregnant; I thought it’d be a good way to share some of the difficulties- and no doubt hilarious stories- of being a young, 21st century Mom who was trying to ‘have it all’ (and not pass gender stereotypes onto her children).

Unfortunately, my first child- Beatrice Rose Anne- was born sleeping in December 2014.

Obviously, the blog could then not become what I originally thought it would and has been a space for me to vent, pass on ‘wisdom’ and raise awareness of stillbirth and neonatal death in general. It was a space for me to share the story of my attempts to rebuild my life after losing my first child in December 2014.

Now, over 5 years on, I am married to Beatrice’s Daddy and we have another three children: Poppy our rottweiler, Rupert who has just gone 1 and ‘Kookoo’ who is due for arrival in August 2020.

I am hoping this blog will now grow with me and my family and become the fun and lighthearted space I had always hoped it would be!

4 thoughts on “My Story

  1. Hi Elizabeth,

    My name is Kate. I’m a 3rd year student midwife, soon to qualify, and I have a job interview in about 4 hours from now. I woke up early to sit and read in preparation, and picked up my latest copy of the RCM Midwives magazine. As I nibbled on my sesame bagel, I skim-read most of the articles at high speed, desperately trying to ingest some fabulous titbits of information that may help me to look super knowledgeable to the interviewers. Then I came across your piece: ‘They don’t tell you’.

    Many of us students consider where we might like to work in our future practice, and many of my friends have shown an interest in bereavement care. To be frank, I never have. Im not sure why. Perhaps it’s because I have three children and feel like I wouldn’t be able to truly empathise with women and families. Maybe it’s because I feel like I would be bordering on useless! I can’t make it better, I can’t bring baby back and I would so desperately want to. Or perhaps, Im afraid that I would be a gibbering wreck every day, of little value to those who need me and perhaps even, a wreck when I return home to my family. Whatever my reasons before, your article has, in the 5 minutes it took to read it, completely changed my feelings. It’s true, by the second paragraph tears had begun to trickle, my bagel had to be returned to it’s plate as I tried valiantly to fight back a full on sob! But I understood from your article that the midwives who cared for you, were truly ‘with woman’ – the meaning of ‘midwife’.

    If I ever find myself caring for a woman with a sleeping baby, I will try my best to be like your midwives were. Present, but respecting her space. Professional, but not afraid to show emotion. Informative and supportive, but by no means do I know best. So far, I have not experienced this level of tragedy, for which I am selfishly grateful. However, I feel more prepared after reading your article, for when I do have the terribly sad privilege to care for someone like you.

    Thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry for your loss Elizabeth.

    Very best wishes,

    Kate x

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    • Chris says:

      my daughter has given birth to our sleeping grandson , I was given this site to read by a wonderful midwife jo she was great and so was midwife Lisa who born our grandson on watch she was fantastic ,everybody fom cleaners to doctors were great with my daughter her partner and us as a family , we had photographs and so much given to us from different charities which we are so grateful, and we want to give so much back .I don’t know how to say thank you to all staff involved reading these blogs have made us realise that our feelings are normal as I have times thinking I’m back to the day and place where he was born , and I’m thinking what to buy him for Christmas the same as my other grandchildren ,then there’s Anne from the bereavement team who is the most fantastic women you would wish to meet and is in the most horrible but loving job ever , she is there for ever in our hearts x . This is proberly such a hard read but it’s how I feel , thank you Elizabeth xx

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  2. Hello Elizabeth, I just came across your poem in the Huff Post – just beautiful. I’m so sorry for the loss of your lovely Beatrice – so bloody unfair. We lost our daughter to stillbirth after a car accident nearly 7 years ago. Thanks for your writing – wonderful that it can contribute to midwives like Kate and others learning more about how best to support bereaved parents. xx

    Like

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